Wolves Riding Bears.

I'm sorry that I ever left you. I got caught up in the glitzy social networkings of Tumblr, but now I've realised that it's not a proper blogging site anymore. So, I think I'll be returning to Blogger. It's somewhere I can blog freely and release all the built up tensions in my life. And unfortunately, they're oddly numbering.

First to start. How I am now. Well, over the last year or so, I've slowly been devolving into a pit of symptomless depression. I've been getting over emotional about things, losing track of work, losing connection with the positives in life and generally shriveling into a little prune, unable to do anything with myself. It's been so hard, you cannot fathom. I've been destroyed by it. It's turned me into this dried up, empty person, not knowing what I want, who I want, how I want it, and when I want it. I've become randomly instinctive and doing things without my better judgement. I've been going about things the wrong way, and on and on, day by day I can feel things constantly getting too worse for me. I feel trapped, pressured by it. It feels like a great weight on my shoulders, a weight that I am unable to shift, no matter how much I will it away. No matter how much I remind myself that it's causeless and that I am basically distilling this depression in my own head, with nowhere for it to go, but to circulate and pollute my spirits and my productivity as a human being. It prohibits my happiness, my enjoyment and my connection to things. I cannot feel a distinct hold on people, on records, on films or clothes or anything anymore. It's terribly heartbreaking. Like I'm this robot that's trying to feel love, but just can't quite do it.

So that's why I have returned to you, Blogger. I can take faith in you. I know that I am the only one reading this and it makes me happy because of that. I can fully express every problem I can confess, no one will read it, and I know I don't have to impress anyone.

Thank you Blogger. You're an old friend of mine. Many a time you sat silently at my side.